Doomsday Vault!

Due to unforeseen yet prophecied events in the middle east particularly Syria the Arctic Doomsday vault had to be opened for snacks...

http://www.cnn.com/2015/10/19/europe/svalbard-global-seed-vault-syria/

With all these rumors of wars and international name calling this got me to thinking about black folks... Yes that means you! Lol

In the event of nuclear war, the Rapture, climate catastrophes, genocidal holocausts or the reenactment of the late Patrick Swayze's movie Red Dawn somewhere on 159st street and King Drive in da hood are black folks in general prepared for massive world upheaval?

If we were to set aside a secret location for both survival and revival of black civilization what should we place in storage?

The Autobiography of Malcolm X... A good read while we roamed the range fending off racist militias on the front lines!

Black hair care products... It's bad enough that toothpaste might be scarce during Armeggeddon but at least the sistas should not have to suffer through too many bad hair days!

Cocoa Butter... Nuclear fallout can make a brotha get ashy something fierce so might as well stock up just in case!

Playstation... It's not like shots will be busting off every single hour on the hour so on down time with a decent solar power cell and hacked leftover internet from some obscure cyberspace you can still practice up on your special ops training with a bootleg copy of Call of Duty!

Crayons... Since nobody is really feeling me on the Zbrush tip the kids can take it back old school with this throwback tool for doodling on the cavern walls, the leaky log cabin walls or the large rocks near the camouflage tents by the nearest and cleanest water supply!

Jet Magazine... Since Playboy magazine has gone fully clothed these days our soldiers may be on guard duty miles from basecamp and want to peep out the latest Beauty of The Week to kill time just saying!

Ronald T. Jones Warriors of The Four Worlds novel... This inspirational sort of apocalyptic space fantasy is a must read for wanna be soldiers still around after a majority of the human race is deceased and or living like Mad Max or memorizing the Bible on some Book of Eli trip!

Mshindo Art... Don't hate this beats looking at dusty old Frazzetta prints any day!

Sugar Hill Gang's Rappers Delight... Great chance to restart black civilization and at the same time reboot Hip Hop culture to fix the many mistakes that followed shortly after their original release!

The Cosby Show reruns... Okay so Bill Cosby is not looking so good these days but once the cannibalistic zombies start raiding everybody's refugee camps he won't look so bad after all and we will at least have the blueprints to rebuild the black middle class which recreates the wealthy bourgeois class and the broke class by default!

Michael Jordan's DNA... Sure we could ditch the game of basketball altogether as we journey towards a brand new civilization but you have to admit other than multi-concussion case football basketball is still that deal before or after the revolution and who wants to wait decades for black boys to finally learn to play defense when Michael's very genome is ready for genetic engineering right into our boys bloodstreams!

One HBCU marching band... With electronic instruments not necessarily working manual instruments will be all the rage and who in such a time of want would not need some inspirational soundtrack to step too especially with all those hooded bandits looking to raid our Kool-aid supply week in and week out!

Anything by James Brown... Sure we can go all blues on you but some of that stuff is way too depressing for times of living hand to mouth in the wilderness so let's keep it up tempo shall we!

Beanpie recipes... Let's be real the NOI makes some good pies that actually serve as meal replacements while keeping you regular I mean who wants to be caught in a firefight and constipated at the same time it's just not cool you know!

One White Girl... Not for what you think but just to test and see if that old slave mentality is still there among the brothas who might be fawning all over her disrespecting all them beautiful sistas helping us stave off extinction so might as well get an early start on purging ourselves of white supremacy as a test just a little bit at a time after the fallout of multiple wars... However if she's cute and down for the brothas she can hook up with whomever as long as she carries her weight like everybody else!

One White Dude... Just role reverse the above and fill in the blanks where applicable! Lol

FRAK IT... Throw in some Asians, Latinos and whoever else was down with us from the get go and call it a day you jungle fever having insurgents you... Besides we will probably have multi-racial alliances here and there once people see that basketball survived and everybody else's teams suck!

A Cadillac... Anyone who has seen Isaac Hayes in Escape From New York should understand this because if we fall into a pseudo feudal system with a new black charismatic leader he may as well be pimped out in a Caddy on some type of post apocalyptic rims spinning like what... Year, make and model does not matter because a Cadillac is a Cadillac unless it's a two seater which is a punishable sin under the new Bible that will be commissioned soon!

Oh Yeah and some food and stuff... That means in addition to those Shea "Butter" trees for lotion/shampoo purposes we might as well stock up on some dehydrated Mac and Cheese with black eyed peas, cornbread, chitlins (Oh and do keep your pork products from any surviving Black Muslims to keep the peace thanks) and perhaps some collard greens for Soul Food Night in between those night bombings by cultures hating on our blessings!

Now make your list and hurry up Russia is set tripping, the Mark of The Beast is being set in play and the economy is about to become a bit more interesting these days once banks start collapsing at random... Or something like that!

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