Fifteen Styles Of Chat (and counting), as compiled by William Hayashi through scholarly observation

The following are the fifteen most familiar chat styles observed across the Internet, and here at BSFS presented alphabetically (research assistance courtesy of James Jones).

1. "Entitlement Chat" - when someone drops into chat, interrupts everyone else with a question or link, then when no one pays immediate attention, they slink off pissed off.

2. "Grasp Of The Obvious Chat" - when someone drops into chat in the middle of a conversation and insists on everyone stopping everything and bringing them up to speed instead of just reading the previous entries.

3. “Just Can’t Tell A Joke Chat” - when one is convinced that their sense of humor is so universal and so clever that they constantly post their sad lines and jokes, convinced of their superiority

4. “Me! Me! Look At Me Chat” – when someone drops by and announces in the middle of the conversation some current project or posts a link to their work and makes small talk only about said project and then leaves

5. “Misogynist Chat” - when a man greets every woman in chat with some off-color, sexist joke, or inappropriate line and is truly oblivious to the fact that he’s an ass.

6. “My Taste Is All That Matters Chat” - when someone mentions something they like in chat, then someone else MUST state why they don’t like it as if they are the final arbiter of all things.

7. “One Up Chat” - after the posting of an audio or video link in chat they MUST post one of their own to prove their superiority in musicianship or relevance

8. “Pay Me Chat” (Sometimes Called "Brother Can You Spare A Dime Chat")- when someone drops by only to promote their fund raising campaign and begs everyone else in chat for money

9. “Phantom Chat” - when someone leaves the site up in their browser at home while they leave the state on a cross country road trip, making people believe they’re there, but are just being rude

10. “Pontificate Chat” – when someone tosses out a question as if to educate the group as a whole like they’re the only one in the universe who ever had that thought

11. "Special Needs Chat" - when someone has a woefully pitiful life, but insists on presenting every single uninteresting detail of what they’re doing in real-time as if they’re the most significant events in the world.

12. “Spoiler Chat” - when someone who just saw something that most in chat have not, they insist on telling spoilers without regard for those who wanted to see whatever it was for them self

13. “Technology Challenged Chat” - when someone has a technical problem in chat, and makes everyone else solve the problem for them before they let the conversation resume.

14. “Time Warp Chat” - when someone starts a conversation, and then lets ten minutes or more (sometimes even hours) lapse between their responses back to everyone else

15. “Your Welcome Chat” - when an adult is so grammatically challenged they don’t know the difference between the possessive and the contraction of similar-sounding words

You know who you are!

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Comment by William Hayashi on June 19, 2015 at 12:41am

23. "Airing Our Dirty Laundry Chat" - when two people get into a singular discussion that few if any others give a damn about and instead of chatting privately, they monopolize the main chat room.

Comment by William Hayashi on June 19, 2015 at 12:21am

22. "Technical Difficulties, Please Stand By Chat" - when someone has lost an argument and cannot continue without looking like an idiot, they leave the site and later claim a dropped connection.

Comment by William Hayashi on June 19, 2015 at 12:08am

21. "Argument Not Working, Change The Subject Chat" - when someone has backed them self into a corner on some point going nowhere, so to extricate them from the situation they change the subject

Comment by William Hayashi on June 19, 2015 at 12:04am

20. Will Never Get It Chat - when someone makes a ridiculous point in chat and no matter how much logic or fact is used to refute it, the original poster will never get that they're wrong.

Comment by William Hayashi on June 17, 2015 at 11:09pm

19. Conversation Killer Chat - when someone makes a post that is completely unrelated to anything discussed and NO ONE has any response whatsoever, killing the room

Comment by William Hayashi on June 17, 2015 at 10:47pm

18. "Lead A Horse To Water Chat" - when someone brings up a topic, drops a link for further edification and discussion, and others ask pointless questions because they won't check out the details in the link.

Comment by G.H. Wright on June 17, 2015 at 3:54am
Sometimes Phantom Chat is just falling asleep. lol.

P.S.

I'll try to remember to hit sign out before I crash. D'oh.
Comment by LN Gibson on June 16, 2015 at 3:00pm

"Entitlement Chat" , "Grasp Of The Obvious Chat", My Taste Is All That Matters Chat” , and Time Warp Chat”...That's me ..lol..

Comment by Iran harris on June 15, 2015 at 11:09pm

21. "The Hater Chat" - when someone just be player hating from the sideline mad because someone is better at the chat game than they are knowing full well that they need to step their game up in order to compete in them thread wars.

Comment by William Hayashi on June 15, 2015 at 7:11pm

The revised and updated list of 17 styles of chat, with thanks to James Jones and Jarvis Sheffield for their crucial additions, in alphabetical order:

1. Destroyer Chat - when one offers up a fallacious observation and is willing to argue the perspective tooth and nail, the Destroyer will deconstruct and invalidate the argument with facts and logic, vanquishing the original notion to the dustbin of online history.

2. "Entitlement Chat" - when someone drops into chat, interrupts everyone else with a question or link, then when no one pays immediate attention, they slink off pissed off.

3. "Feeding Frenzy Chat" - when someone new shows up in chat and EVERYBODY inundates them with entreaties about their own work along with thinly veiled requests for the newbie to buy their stuff

4. "Grasp Of The Obvious Chat" - when someone drops into chat in the middle of a conversation and insists on everyone stopping everything and bringing them up to speed instead of just reading the previous entries.

5. “Just Can’t Tell A Joke Chat” - when one is convinced that their sense of humor is so universal and so clever that they constantly post their sad lines and jokes, convinced of their superiority

6. “Me! Me! Look At Me Chat” – when someone drops by and announces in the middle of the conversation some current project or a link to the work, makes small talk only about said project and then leaves

7. “Misogynist Chat” - when a man greats every woman in chat with some off-color, sexist joke, or inappropriate line and truly is oblivious to the fact that he’s an ass.

8. “My Taste Is All That Matters Chat” - when someone mentions something they like then someone else MUST state why they don’t like it as if they are the final arbiter of all things.

9. “One Up Chat” - after the post of an audio or video link someone else MUST post one of their own to prove their superiority in musicianship or relevance.

10. “Pay Me Chat” - when someone drops by only to promote their fund raising campaign and to beg everyone in chat for money; sometimes called the Brother Can You Spare A Dime Chat.

11. “Phantom Chat” - when someone leaves the site up in their browser while they leave the state on a road trip, making people believe they’re there, but just rude.

12. “Pontificate Chat” – when someone tosses out a question, statement or link to some other content to the group as a whole as if they’re the only one in the universe who ever had that thought.

13. "Special Needs Chat" - when someone has a woefully pitiful life but insists on presenting every single uninteresting detail of what they’re doing in real-time as if they’re the most significant events in the world.

14. “Spoiler Chat” - when someone who just saw something that most in chat have not, they insist on revealing spoilers without regard for those who wanted to see whatever it was for themself.

15. “Technology Challenged Chat” - when someone has a problem inside chat, and makes everyone else solve the problem for them before they let the conversation resume.

16. “Time Warp Chat” - when someone starts a conversation, and then lets ten minutes or more (sometimes hours) lapse between their responses back to others who responded to them.

17. “Your Welcome Chat” - when an adult is so grammatically challenged they don’t know the difference between the possessive and the contraction of similar-sounding words

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