Fifteen Styles Of Chat (and counting), as compiled by William Hayashi through scholarly observation

The following are the fifteen most familiar chat styles observed across the Internet, and here at BSFS presented alphabetically (research assistance courtesy of James Jones).

1. "Entitlement Chat" - when someone drops into chat, interrupts everyone else with a question or link, then when no one pays immediate attention, they slink off pissed off.

2. "Grasp Of The Obvious Chat" - when someone drops into chat in the middle of a conversation and insists on everyone stopping everything and bringing them up to speed instead of just reading the previous entries.

3. “Just Can’t Tell A Joke Chat” - when one is convinced that their sense of humor is so universal and so clever that they constantly post their sad lines and jokes, convinced of their superiority

4. “Me! Me! Look At Me Chat” – when someone drops by and announces in the middle of the conversation some current project or posts a link to their work and makes small talk only about said project and then leaves

5. “Misogynist Chat” - when a man greets every woman in chat with some off-color, sexist joke, or inappropriate line and is truly oblivious to the fact that he’s an ass.

6. “My Taste Is All That Matters Chat” - when someone mentions something they like in chat, then someone else MUST state why they don’t like it as if they are the final arbiter of all things.

7. “One Up Chat” - after the posting of an audio or video link in chat they MUST post one of their own to prove their superiority in musicianship or relevance

8. “Pay Me Chat” (Sometimes Called "Brother Can You Spare A Dime Chat")- when someone drops by only to promote their fund raising campaign and begs everyone else in chat for money

9. “Phantom Chat” - when someone leaves the site up in their browser at home while they leave the state on a cross country road trip, making people believe they’re there, but are just being rude

10. “Pontificate Chat” – when someone tosses out a question as if to educate the group as a whole like they’re the only one in the universe who ever had that thought

11. "Special Needs Chat" - when someone has a woefully pitiful life, but insists on presenting every single uninteresting detail of what they’re doing in real-time as if they’re the most significant events in the world.

12. “Spoiler Chat” - when someone who just saw something that most in chat have not, they insist on telling spoilers without regard for those who wanted to see whatever it was for them self

13. “Technology Challenged Chat” - when someone has a technical problem in chat, and makes everyone else solve the problem for them before they let the conversation resume.

14. “Time Warp Chat” - when someone starts a conversation, and then lets ten minutes or more (sometimes even hours) lapse between their responses back to everyone else

15. “Your Welcome Chat” - when an adult is so grammatically challenged they don’t know the difference between the possessive and the contraction of similar-sounding words

You know who you are!

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Comment by Jarvis Sheffield - Admin on June 14, 2015 at 10:17am

LOL, I am guilty as charged no at least 3 of these. 

Great post Will. LOL

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