I love/hate my life, it moves too fast and I can't sort out how I stand in it. The many things I can do, I am not expert at any and have no expressed focus on anything. I say I am an artist but my art is incomplete sketches. I have visions I can not realize in reality. It is like being in a motion picture on TV and only the commercials are real.I am laying there, the parade of images all converge, a history of others visions and amusements. I mix them and blend them and redefine them according to my own strange bent. Lately it's Star Wars and TRON. I've seen the first TRON and the web postings on the new TRON and the TRON games. Don't know why it rings with me. I see all sci-fi stuff with a hoping and longing one day I will wake up and my world will be so designed. Like a spaceship or a spacestation or like a Syd Mead future. At the same time I see Africa, ancient Africa. I blend the two motifs. Skin suits, shields, cyber lances, transports, animal sidekicks with neural implants. I see mud like huts with domes combined into cities that dot the savanna connected by quonset covered roads. Skin suits and fabric draped and wrapped and color, lots of color, some things haven't changed. I hear drums and thumbpianos and koras and flutes and horns.Painted homes that on the outside look like any urban home today, inside a cyber space. No junk jewelry hanging from the dining room ceiling, no warmth for Paul Revere, no air of the Western Reserve, nothing old. The corners are rounded, the square frames around windows and doorways are trimmed, walls are curved, tilted, angled and punctured through, the box is violated. Edison's light bulb is a true antique, light panels are everywhere and are bent to flow with space. There are nooks and crannies for still bodies and expansive space for bodies in motion. There is sound and shapes and colors and texture and smells.I push the relics of the old Roman Empire into the waste bin, the antiques of the new Roman Empire onto the curb. I tell some people you can't include me by having me embrace your past while not embracing my own. I tell others I will embrace the past according to my own choosing thank you. I will not invent a past or endorse a past prescribed for me.Man I love/hate this life. I will have to make a place for myself in it, I am so caught by the things.............
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