My buddy Trevor started a discussion which led to a sobering reply from B. Sharise about black self hatred. The anecdotes she offered about her experience with her black students in regard to how they perceived themselves was familiar and disturbing.This caused me to reflect on how I have perceived myself over the course of my life. Now, I didn't grow up in a black radical nationalist household. The n word was frequently used and black people were often disparaged. My paternal grandmother demonstrated how I should regularly use my thumb and index finger to mold my nose to prevent it from broadening. (Loved my grandma, but I never took her up on that suggestion).Now, you've all seen my pictures. I'm dark skinned and African featured. I've been that way for quite a few years. I have always been comfortable with the way I look. Never had an issue with my hair. As a child my grandmother used to comb it. It hurt like the dickens, yet I always wanted a mass of kinky hair on my head...a desire ignored by my grandma who insisted on cutting it periodically.I was never afraid to embrace the sun. How many of you have heard a black person say that they avoid the sun because they don't want to get darker? I welcome the summer because it adds an extra sheen of blackness to my already dark skin. Plus, my brightly colored polo shirts provide a stunning contrast against the sun kissed gloss of my skin tone. (That visual picture was for the ladies, not the guys, lol).Anyway, I never had a problem with my nose or my lips. As far as faculties go I never believed that whites were somehow better than blacks, that they were more intelligent or possessed of other superior qualities. Years ago a woman I knew asked me if I ever felt inferior to white people. When I answered no, she was astonished. I, in turn, was astonished by her astonishment. Sounds like she was internalizing a heavy dose of inferiority.I like black women across the color spectrum from jet black to Casper white. I am as breathless for Serena Williams as I am for Halle Barry. My interest in black history, cultivated as a young teen, only enhanced an already elevated sense of myself. Bottomline, I have never identified with the negative, racial jabs that many blacks have cast upon themselves and each other. I have never internalized these insults, have never felt inferior, have never felt ugly, too black, too African looking or otherwise racially inadequate.So tell me people, and be HONEST. Do any of you feel as racially well adjusted about yourselves as I do? If not please elaborate.Again, I'm asking for honesty.
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