BSFS Mall Cop!

The swearing in ceremony...

Jarvis: "Do you promise to serve and protect and to fulfill your duties as a civil servant under the sovereign laws of BSFS and all it's subdivision departments?"

Flex: "I keeps it real!"

Jarvis: "In the name of BSFS I hereby pronounce you... Mall Cop."

Flex: "This is such a great honor... I mean just last week I was on fries and milkshakes at Quinton and VJ's restaurant but here I am with a new job with benefits momma I made it!"

Jarvis: "Don't just stand there go guard something."

Flex: "Right away sir!"

The BSFS Mall...

Flex: "We have a suspicious black male loitering around the Octavia Butler statue... Initiating investigation protocols!"

Ronald: "Dude why are you following me?"

Flex: "Show me some I.D. sir!"

Ronald: "Look... I'm just here to purchase the new Genesis Anthology!"

Flex: "Yeah, yeah, get up against the wall!"

After a firm frisking...

Flex: "What is this?"

Ronald: "It's a light saber... It's for protection these streets is rough out here you never know!"

Turns on light saber...

Flex: "This light saber is red... Are you Sith?"

Ronald: "Naw man, I aint Sith I was holding it for a friend why you sweating me?"

Flex: "Why are your eyes yellow?"

Ronald: "Allergies and stuff!"

Flex: "I sense a little dark side in you... You been drinking?"

Ronald: "I had a couple of cold ones you know celebrating Star Wars going digital on iTunes and stuff!"

Flex: "Yeah, yeah, yeah, Sir I am going to have to confiscate this weapon and take you into custody... I have reason to believe that you are a Sith lord trying to stir up trouble at the BSFS mall!"

Ronald: "This is boolshet I aint done nothing... By the time my lawyer Palpatine gets here you will be working in the mall basement filing paperwork for old outdated threads!"

Flex: "Are you being hostile sir?"

Ronald: "No, so you can pin up bigger charges on me!"

Flex: "Put your hands behind your back sir!"

Ronald: "FRAKKING rent-a-cop!"

Dozens of mall shoppers aim their smartphones at the scuffle that ensues...

Flex: "HEY, turn those phones off this is BSFS mall security business!"

Ronald: "FIGHT THE POWER!!!"

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