The swearing in ceremony...
Jarvis: "Do you promise to serve and protect and to fulfill your duties as a civil servant under the sovereign laws of BSFS and all it's subdivision departments?"
Flex: "I keeps it real!"
Jarvis: "In the name of BSFS I hereby pronounce you... Mall Cop."
Flex: "This is such a great honor... I mean just last week I was on fries and milkshakes at Quinton and VJ's restaurant but here I am with a new job with benefits momma I made it!"
Jarvis: "Don't just stand there go guard something."
Flex: "Right away sir!"
The BSFS Mall...
Flex: "We have a suspicious black male loitering around the Octavia Butler statue... Initiating investigation protocols!"
Ronald: "Dude why are you following me?"
Flex: "Show me some I.D. sir!"
Ronald: "Look... I'm just here to purchase the new Genesis Anthology!"
Flex: "Yeah, yeah, get up against the wall!"
After a firm frisking...
Flex: "What is this?"
Ronald: "It's a light saber... It's for protection these streets is rough out here you never know!"
Turns on light saber...
Flex: "This light saber is red... Are you Sith?"
Ronald: "Naw man, I aint Sith I was holding it for a friend why you sweating me?"
Flex: "Why are your eyes yellow?"
Ronald: "Allergies and stuff!"
Flex: "I sense a little dark side in you... You been drinking?"
Ronald: "I had a couple of cold ones you know celebrating Star Wars going digital on iTunes and stuff!"
Flex: "Yeah, yeah, yeah, Sir I am going to have to confiscate this weapon and take you into custody... I have reason to believe that you are a Sith lord trying to stir up trouble at the BSFS mall!"
Ronald: "This is boolshet I aint done nothing... By the time my lawyer Palpatine gets here you will be working in the mall basement filing paperwork for old outdated threads!"
Flex: "Are you being hostile sir?"
Ronald: "No, so you can pin up bigger charges on me!"
Flex: "Put your hands behind your back sir!"
Ronald: "FRAKKING rent-a-cop!"
Dozens of mall shoppers aim their smartphones at the scuffle that ensues...
Flex: "HEY, turn those phones off this is BSFS mall security business!"
Ronald: "FIGHT THE POWER!!!"