One of the saddest days of my adult life—right up there with realizing I'd never be an astronaut and that Pam Grier was not going to return my phone calls—was the realization that I had outgrown James Bond movies. I generally credit GoldenEye with sparking this epiphany (it might have been Tomorrow Never Dies), when I first thought: If you could build your own fleet of space shuttles or a supertanker that could house two nuclear ballistic submarines... wouldn't taking over the world be a step down? Look at the real-life analogues of James Bond villains: Rupert Murdock (Tomorrow's Elliot Carver), the newly-green T. Boone Pickens (Moonraker's Hugo Drax), Bill Gates (A View to a Kill's Max Zorn)—don't these guys run the world already? In the first twenty Bond films, 007 only did general espionage stuff in two; on two other occasions he fought international drug traffickers, prevented nuclear wars on three others, stopped three malefactors from destroying this world to create a new one, prevented global economic collapse four times (too bad he missed this one) and foiled various world blackmail schemes six times. Mr. Bond's villains seemed to have gotten their inspiration from watching Pinky and the Brain.Then came Austin Powers. After watching just one Austin Powers movie, it was hard to see James Bond in the same light. Austin didn't satirize Bond as much as the Bond films themselves did, we suddenly realized: the increasingly forced and embarrassing puns and double entendres, the over-the-top villains (from Jaws to Xenia Onatopp, an assassin who killed her victims by crushing them to death... with her thighs. {At the time I remember wondering How many Kegels does that take?)). And the names—couldn't Alotta Fagina fit right in with Plenty O'Toole and Holly Goodhead? After the international man of mystery, 24, the Bourne movies and September 11th, a martini-swilling, womanizing secret agent running around with jetpacks and lethally pimped-out sports cars seemed irrelevant.So the producers decided to reboot the series with a Bond for the New Millennium. We go back to a Bond who is emotional rather than totally unflappable, prone to making mistakes rather than being preternaturally in control, with Bond Girls who are their own women. The current incarnation of Bond and MI6 owes much to Jason Bourne and CTU (James Bond, Jason Bourne, Jack Bauer: Why do these guys all have the same initials? Is it in the recruitment process? So when do we get Special Agent Jamal Brown?) Audiences warmed to Casino Royale and that story continues with Quantum of Solace.I still have no idea what the title refers to, but then, why would anybody answer to the name "Octopussy?" A lot of the negative criticism for Quantum includes——the plot is too hard to follow. (Imagine that, a movie where you have to think. I know someone is going to say, "I don't go to movies to think, I go to be entertained.” Well, watching a toddler learn to walk can be entertaining, but, unless it's your kid, do you want to pay to watch it? The storyline may be challenging to governors who don't read newspapers but if you know what "NGO" stands for, there's an "Ah-ha!" moment that a great payoff.)—Bond doesn't bed enough women. (Ever wondered where Q hid the condoms? Or if he came up with an anti-STD spray?)—there's no Q. (Q’s gadgets were cool back in the day, but can't you get most of that stuff now on eBay?)This isn't your father's and mother's James Bond, or even your James Bond if you are "of a certain age." This is 007 for 2K, and he's a good one. And for those who pine for the days of Dr. No and Goldfinger… Well remember how Dr. Evil thought holding the world for two million dollars ransom was a great idea…?
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