Jack Frost Indicted On 3.5 Billion Counts Of Worldwide Nose Nipping!
Charlie Brown and Peppermint Patty Mistletoe Sex Tape Leaked!
Little Drummer Boy Sued For Sampling!
Rudolph The Rednosed Reindeer Checks Self In To Rehab Center!
Abominable Snowman Paternity Tests Positive For Bigfoot's Baby!
Two Identical Snowflakes Found Melted Before Scientific Confirmation!
Reindeers Donner and Blitzen Come Out Of Closet!
Scrooge Buys Exclusive Christmas Rights Fires Ghosts of Christmas Past!
Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree Exposed As Illegal Chronic!
North Pole Home of Santa Claus Melts Due To Global Warming!
Okay people let's see who can top these headlines so be creative...
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