What makes you worthy and what is in it for me
Recently I got asked by two different people to pitch in (money) to help someone else achieve their goal. In a world where social giving is a trending norm how do you give and feel good about it? Of course that is the 64 thousand dollar question that we are asked to answer each and every time we are approached with such a request. I will give to one of them but not the other. One has a kickstarter page, the other person made a personal request directly.
Let's view the kickstarter request first. As much as I am all about art and artist I am mistrustful of how the funds are being used. There is no fiduciary reporting source or guarantee of production for what I have given funds toward. I am not suggesting that kickstarter begin monitoring or guaranteeing performance of said projects. Instead I am stating the risk that is being taken each time you give to a relative stranger. Let's get to the brass tacks of why I will not support this particular kickstarter project: the principle strategist and chief designer on the project recently lost his day job. Inside of the kickstarter project the team has requested enough funds to pay the principles salary (equal to his day job) for one year. Fortunately for me this project and its principle are local to my area so I was able to talk directly with him about his project. In a moment of honesty he openly admitted to me that his salary was part of the kickstarter ask. On first blush I was not shocked by this and I am certain that he is not the only person that has done this within their kickstarter; therefore no harm no foul from a business formula perspective. At the same time it got me to thinking why should I fund this persons income directly? The answer is I should not nor should anyone else. I then asked would I like someone to do it for me? My answer was a resounding NO. Not because I am altruistic nor am I undeserving. My answer is no because there is no free lunch; simple as that. I do not give to people standing on the side of the road. I dont easily give to panhandlers, I approach it as a case by case scenario, just as I do with social giving. My gut check meter works real well.
The personal request: Why am I going to give to this person? The request was made in text, so it carried no emotion in the appeal. The words gave me no hint of personality, in fact I was almost slightly insulted that I was approached "shock" - Then I remembered some things that were very important to know: it takes a lot of courage to ask for help, a closed mouth does not get fed, a question unasked is a question that goes unanswered, hearing a no means you are one person closer to hearing a yes and many other idioms came to mind but the first one is the most reassuring point. The person that asked for help at some point gathered courage to make asking part of their business model and repertoire. After reviewing that point I made a decision that I was going to help.
I hope as you go through your web world trek that you use a balancing beam to find good and worthy projects to give toward. We do not need KickStarter.com nor IndieGoGo.com or any such website to reach into our pockets to share our resources with those that we want to see do well in their endeavors. If it is within your ability to give consider not waiting to be asked to give, take it upon yourself to offer. Asking someone if they have a PayPal account or what is their PayPal email, sending a donation to them is a great way to show that you care and are on their side.
Here is something that I do locally to give you an example; I nose around chatting people up on what projects they have coming for the following year. I listen to the passion in their voice, I listen to what they are saying, I try to gauge the level of success that can be achieved from their approach. I then make a decision of how can I best assist them; with gently guidance, inputting my time on their project or (the universal equalizer) cash donation. I then take a step back and wait for the following year to begin, if they show some progress on what they spoke to me about passionately I act upon the best use of my resources for them. I have been doing this since 2005. Sometimes anonymously, sometimes overtly but all the same I do it. I ask one thing in return; that they do it for someone else at some point.
What's in it for me? Directly it is often nothing. If you can not give with an open mind and expect nothing then you should not give as well as you should not expect to be given. Adopt an openness and you will receive a plethora of wonders in return. If you are looking to get back what you give then take pause to look at it from this way. Each breath you take is comprised of oxygen vital for your continued function as a mammal on planet Earth. With each exhale you expel into the atmosphere carbon monoxide a component that is vital to plant life on planet Earth. Would it be logical for the mammal that you are to get back exactly what you have sent out to the plant life?
Be aware that every ledger of every kind requires that both sides of an equation be brought into balance. Give when and where you can. Be kind as a default position. Allow your ego to be a follower in your life not the leader. Allow that naiveté to nurture your inner child, allow your skepticism to not be exploited by the misdeeds of others. Act as you prefer to be acted toward. Simple truths are the easiest ones to share. Know and understand that not everyone will use the same principles unless you insist upon them doing so to share in your world.
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