and i didn't really realize how deep that is.
and then you know i walks outta legion and i said the the subject header to myself.
and this is probably how far gone we really are.
i went to see it because of western mythology and the war in heaven story but i really ain't have no intention on seeing any black angels.
its so many things wrong with that statement.
from expecting to be included in the white program and western mythology to actually still going out and supporting their art.
so then i gotta say to myself: self, why on earth did you go up in the theatre then, homeslice?
i guess let's go back.
i speak english.
it's the only language i know.
i dress in european clothes.
i study western storytelling for the screen as well as western mythology.
and one of my faves is the story of the war in heaven.
so i always thought that would be the premise for a dope movie.
in short it goes like this.
the character of god created angels and said yall do what i say or else. and don't dare think about worshipping nobody else but me.
they said yassa boss. and one angel loved god waaay more than the others.
then god made man and said bow down like the westside connection.
all the angels said yassa boss, bowed, but one angel remained standing.
he said, but my beloved lord, you said don't bow down to none and nothing but you. and i love you more than your creation.
and god was like i aint got nuntin to do with all that right now.
bow down to man.
and then this same angel was like and on top of that, you made him from dust and i come from fire.
then a coupla other angels stood up and was yeahhhh, he do have a point tho.
so the angels split up those on the side of god and those on the side of that troublesome angel whose name was lucifer or satan.
so the angels fought (which i'm sure would make a bomb action scene) and then lucifer took his angels with him.
this is the short version of this myth that's been around for awhile.
so i guess that's what i wanted to see.
and again this was gabriel vs michael.
michael's character in legion kinda was like lucifer in his rebelliousness.
which opens a whole nother can of worms.
so the character of god in these stories basically just creates these trials and hardships and wars...cause it ain't shitt else to do? because he has to know all of the outcomes right?
so boom, some of the things you mighta expected to see in the movie,
michael with his wings flying around like on the poster.
no. his wings are gone. the whole movie. save for a few parts.
another thing you might have expected to see. angels doing supernatural things and fighting.
no. dude was jack bauer from 24 or the american white boy with a gun.
got a script? add guns. now you gotta movie. homeboy was a straight plane jane. with a grey coat on. he just had guns. corny.
what else might have people expected to see? mad angels flying around having a war against each other.
no.
1. the monsters are in the preview. the old lady. the ice cream crawling man. and the shots that you saw in the preview are the only effects shots they have. in other words ice cream crawling man has no other scene longer than the crawl in the trailer and the mouth stretching. cause they shoot him after that.
2. they went the angelic possession route. cool. don't hear about that all the time. but basically it was a bunch of extras acting like zombies slash vampires. (??) crazy. i know. the possessed get these little sharp teeth and then bite you in the neck.
lemme see, what else might one expect from a movie like this?
we already went over the non black angels.
well shitt they only showed two angels.
oh yeah, you expect to see more scenes of expounded upon action.
nope.
what you see in the trailers is what you get.
the filler is basically people talking to each other sitting down face to face.
i know this is an attempt to make us "care" but you can have your characters tell their lifestory while fighting, falling out of a plane, doing kung fu. you don't need 5 scenes of 2 on 2 character discussions in an action film.
i dunno. the flick was ok i guess.
not recommended however.
almost as corny as daybreakers but not exactly cuz at least they had enough respect to end the film in a fight scene.
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