Now, boom, if you ain't never read the graphic novel or nuntin, and if you goin' in thinking that the movie is gon' be on some ole ill super heroes fightin' type shit, then naw, bruh (or sis), it ain't.First off, don't nobody in the story got superhero powers.'Cept for the blue dude. Also known as Dr. Manhattan.This book is so corny I'm gettin mad just re thinking about it and typin this.So anyway, right?You've seen the posters,You got the guy with the inkblot mask.you got the girl with the black and yellowyou got the dude with the vinyl batman outfit.you got somebody else, i forgot.and the guy with the flamethrower. shit. you could work a flamethrower.and he only use the flamethrower in a flashback vietnam scene.but don't none of them got no powers.ask the girl what's her power."um. i got long hair."okay..?"oh wait. and i can wear black and yellow patent leather."soooo..? do you know karate or anything like that?can you shoot lasers or teleport? or are your powers like bumble bee girl or something like that? you comin with the ill bee stings? bzzzzz. or you can control bees? anything??"um. not exactly. but i know how to walk down steps in high heeled boots."oh. well i guess that's cool.NOT.but moving right along...so you notice the flick ain't got no names attached, right?if this jawn remain faithful to the book people gon be mad as shit.and a high dropoff percentage in the week two's sales.i'm a try not to talk about the racist shit they do in the book.fuck it.lemme just jump into it."the smartest guy in the world" is this blond haired blue eyed guy.this scrawny ass red haired guy whose the guy in the inkblot mask kicks a black guy's ass in jail.that shit wouldn't happen on the street and it for goddamn showl aint happenin upstate.and then he outsmarts and humiliates an impotent black psychiatrist.i'll stop there.you'll see much more if your eyes are open.so first off, people think this comic is all smart because apparently it talks about a lotta smart shit.like when you get in a conversation with someone you just met and they start usin all these four and five syllable words.and you like "come on. really? i'm sayin tho, really?"well that's what this book is like.it's a masturbatory intellectual piece of fiction.in other words its sayin "look world. look how smart i am. look at all the great literature i've read. blah blah blah."and people don't understand it so they herald it's greatness.they way people did that david lynch movie, mulholland drive.look man, don't nobody know about all that smart shit you talkin about right now.we wanna see some action.if you was really smart you'd know that.and you'd have superheroes in costume catchin missles with their feets.backflippin off buildings.flyin through crowds.teleportin through walls and callin villians "sucka ass niggas".sike naw.on that last part at least.oh wait. that brings me another part:the villians.ain't none.so if story is conflict, and conflict and tension arise from two opposing forces and on one side we got would-be superheroes then on this side what should we have?you got it.agent smith or darth vader.but nooooooooooo.that would be too much like right, now wouldn't it?so what is your villian, mr alan moore?the reconciling of the human heart?and findin out who ya real fahver is?what the fuck????yo man, this book got me so heated right now.it's so much more i could say. but i'm a chill.i got this last poets wax i'm bout to bump.peace out,jnaw it's still on.because... well alright, fuck it, here go all my problems with the book.nobody got powers.it's a corny detective story. with no fights or villians.it ain't got no villians.the little bit of action that jumps off happens in the end.the shit is just corny.and slow.everybody talkin and not doin nuffin cool.matter fact, they ain't doin nuffin but talkin.alright so boom, anyway they got the all blue dude who is a knock off of the vision and the beyonder from the marvel universe.so this blue dude -- mr manhattan -- can do anything. basically.alright then, bet, so that means we should get plenty of action right?mr manhattan fightin hordes of doombots and giant mechagodzillas and um, uh, uh, putting bridges back together and catchin 18-wheelers or something.naw.he gets sad and goes to mars.and then his girl come talk to him.and then they do a tour of mars where the author decides to dazzle us with his knowledge of the mars geography.and then they talk about the value of human life.this shit was corny.oh yeah, plus i forgot.60% of the story is told in flashbacks.
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