Hey. Here's chapter one of my graphic novel, SKU, a story about two siblings who stumble into a hyper consumerist reality after visiting the new grocery store built in their crappy town. Enjooy.Note: Because this will be graphic, the chapters are short. Also, it's narrated by the six year old, who has autism. Let me know if it's too distracting or difficult.1. The Fight and Mr. Gimmett’s VisitWhen the girl hit the ground her front teeth met through her tongue. The others said that Manny kicked the girl while she lay on the ground, but Manny did not. “Or I don’t think I did,” she said.When the principal of Saint Anne’s Preparatory School called no one answered and Manny had to wait until seven hours and 30 minutes post meridian for a ride from the guidance counselor, whose name was Dr. Gimmett and whose heels made such a sick flat sound on the living room floor that the boy—Lou—had to pound his fists into the couch to keep the sound of heavy pennies out of his ears.Lou had to go into the hallway so that Mister Gimmett, Manny, and Etta, could talk about what Manny did to the girl’s tongue.Lou could hear the voices from the hallway, especially when he lay with his belly to the cold floor. What he heard made his tongue click in his head with nervousness.Lou was six years old, Manny was 14 years old, and Etta was 21 years old. They were all orphans and all siblings to each other with the same last name. Etta sounded and smelled like the mother, and Manny was too loud or quiet so it was hard to listen for her. It was something good to know when she was coming and where she was in the house.Dahlia had to be rushed to the hospital her father is furious and is threatening legal action I explained your ahem situation Did they tell you what they called me Dr. Gimmett did they tell you how they’ve been following me around and It doesn’t matter you don’t use your hands on someone else Manny They said I had the plague she said it in front of everyone that I had AIDs and that I was a whore she said I had the plague and SHE pushed ME and SHE fell I barely touched her How is the girl what was her name Dahlia is she ok She SCRATCHED ME and no one cares she’s been pushing me for a week and no one cares Thank you Dr. Gimmett I’m sorry we had to meet under these circum—Manny is suspended indefinitely and her scholarship has been dissolvedThe pennies were on the floor again, and the front door closed and Lou ran into the bathroom because Manny was too loud.Etta was holding Manny, Lou knew, because he heard her wet sounds muffled into clothing. Etta would hold them both until they stopped making noise, and it almost always felt better. Except tonight, Manny would not say the things to Etta that she would later write on a piece of paper and throw away (Lou always found Manny’s letters in the bathroom trash can):Etta,I’m really really sorry, I should have been more mature but I don’t know how to ignore them when it’s all at once, so many people attacking me at once. Like usually they don’t talk to me and sometimes they might say something little like bitch or something but ever since I got ringworm they are always after me especially that Dahlia bitch, and Etta I’m so sorry I lost that scholarship. It’s ok if I have to go back to Sumter, I deserve it and I know you worked really really hard, it’s just sometimes I get tired of everything, Etta. I get so tired of everything, like I don’t have any friends because I’m a bitch and I’m always tired because of the bus ride from Saint Anne’s and I’m just really sorry. I wish you had picked me up from the school because Gimmett is just so annoying. I don’t want to disappoint you it’s just been too many things at once.MannyThat night, Manny in her anger, called Lou a bitch and a retard and a faggot as she pinched and slapped him in his bed, but in truth he was paralyzed with fear and confusion and also familiarity, because this is what she did when she was ashamed or trapped (and this time she was both). She bruised him with her hands, and he never screamed until the morning, when he found his light brown skin mottled with green yellow and purple. It was hard enough for his skin to belong to him without new marks making it harder.Manny would stand in the bathroom doorway while he writhed on the cold peeling linoleum in his transformers pajamas, screaming, "Who's skin is this?" wishing he knew who's skin he was wearing (he began to dub it Manny's mad skin) and why she had to hurt him so bad.To Manny, though it was like watching a little bug buzzing around with its wings cut off. And her shame made her shake her head and call him a retard out loud. She was mad now because she knew when Etta woke up, Manny would get asked questions, and Manny never had answers.They had finished building the supermarket and they called it The New Village Green. It was where the old one had been five years ago, and Lou had watched them build it for the past eight months and one week. The very recent weeks Lou had seen the building transform from rust red steel verticals and horizontals to flat shiny squares of glass and white and green, all stuck to a strong, tall and spread out frame.The parking lot was very dark and hard and sparkling in the sunlight (because it was the end of June, and everything off the cars and trees went wavy and smelled like heat and stung tongues).There were people shielding their eyes to look at the big green letters that looked like they said FRESH BAKED BREAD or MOMMY instead of New Village Green.Etta got out of the car dressed very nice and straight so that she looked responsible and fit to work at the New Village Green. Manny held my hand very gently and Lou liked it. He showed it by making a nice buzzing sound with his lips. It did not annoy anyone at all.Manny was very quiet and she brought a hoodie because she was always cold inside of supermarkets, and this one looked like it would be very cold inside.The automatic doors opened very smoothly and hushed icy blue air onto their heads.The floors were the first thing. Very wide aisles and very shiny and smooth. No scuffs.The ceilings were high with round lights hanging over everything.There was fresh bread stacked on the south western corner and straight ahead were bright red balls of food stacked perfectly to the ceiling in a pyramid. The workers wore white and green with little cylindrical striped hats and they looked at Manny and Etta with smiles on their mouths.This was a new and shiny store.Etta went to the front to apply for the job, and Manny took Lou’s arm so that he would stop counting the magazines on the rack. Etta said “Take him for a walk, Manny, Love.” And so they did. Manny named all of the products for Lou in a nice voice. Lou could tell how sorry she was for the night before because her hand kept rubbing over the green and purple spots very slowly.Lou was only quiet because there was so much to see. It was a scary place with too many people and voices all bumping against each other like they were fighting, and Lou had forgotten to bring something to play with. Instead he touched everything, which Manny let him do because she was so sorry.There was a restroom sign next to the meat. It was blue and white and Lou pointed very hard to show Manny that he needed to see this bathroom.Manny stood outside because she did not know that lately, Lou had been having trouble with buttons. He explored the bathroom, which was spotless. And the toilet paper roll was free. He decided he did really need to go, and he beat on the door very hard so that Manny could help him with his pants.Manny and Lou were only in the bathroom for six minutes. It was not enough time for the big store to be cleared of people. It was a much calmer environment for Lou, but not for Manny which is kind of funny because they were siblings.Lou shrieked with delight and started to run quickly towards the empty canned food aisle, but Manny grabbed his wild hand and squeezed very hard. Her eyes were wide.“Wait,” She said. And she watched.Manny walked slowly around the perimeter of the store, keeping near the frozen meat and then the deli. And then the cheese and milk. She held on to the back of Lou’s shirt because he kept sliding his hands along everything and there was no one to say anything.In a watery voice, “Etta? Etta?” The voice came from Manny’s mouth but it did not sound like the voice that normally came from her. It was very small and forced like someone pushed it out of her throat with all their might (and then ran back down to her stomach).There were no cashiers at the front, but there was a receipt in check out number seven. Manny faced the empty aisles, then pulled Lou’s sleeve.“Let’s go.” The doors still slid smooth and quiet.Outside was not good because there was no Sumter, New Jersey, where Manny and Lou came from. It was sharper and taller. The buildings were in the sky and made up of many mirrors. The parking lot was full all the way to the edges and just now, a tall woman with yellow hair pushed by Manny into the Village Green.Behind them the store was repopulated with many different people. Their voices hummed when the doors opened, and stopped when the doors closed.Manny stepped off the curb and into the street, which made Lou stomp his feet. He wanted to be in Sumter where it smelled like petroleum and the sky was a little bit yellow, and he could see their house from the Village green. This place was too glassy and blue and cold, but not skin cold. To look at it was icy and hard.Manny was startled because a small red Porsche was waiting for her to cross the street.Lou recognized the look on Manny’s face. It was what she looked like when certaincommercials came on. She looked hungry.
You need to be a member of Blacksciencefictionsociety to add comments!
Replies