it was never my intent
to give silence sovereignty,
dominion over my kingdom hub.
nor did I mean to gather
self-pity and lay it about,
a moat to the castle of my heart.
I assigned no consequence,
gave no thought to the betrayal
my quiescence would become
to those who had constructed—
in dedicated manner—
majestic tower rooms,
placed at loving heights
distinctly for my solace,
if ever I had need of them.
but know also, that I
did not wish to place a strain
upon the unstinting love proffered me—
friendships nurtured through years
that exist now only in memory—
by tendering the account of my trials
as they occurred.
I thought my tragedies best told
in the sullen aftermath,
when the sound of their relation
would have come across
as nothing more than muted noises
to ears that were ringing
with the livid memories of my misery.
only in retrospect does the damage—
distance as insurmountable as a great wall,
unbroken by any form of entrance or gate—
my eager stillness might have caused
become as radiant as a crystal palace
which stands luminous in the light
of certain, unavoidable truths.
I cannot be sure that apology is enough.
nor can I be sure
of the worth of that regret,
I am naught but a flawed animal,
fallible and comforted
by the customs which define me.
Image: Medieval Castle, Public Domain Images
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