There was this guy who made a yearly pilgrimage to Yellowstone Park and 7 years in a row his camper was ransacked and his Coleman cooler decimated. This year he drove a semi-trailer and a 20ft cargo container into a clearing next to his cabin. He parked the container and hid the rig behind the cabin. He then spent the summer painting the container orange, with a white roof and "Coleman" in large white letters. On top of the cooler with solar powered fans he places peanut butter sandwiches, blueberry pie and leftovers.
You could hear the grunts for miles and see the trees disturbed by the tree line. Then they came, bears of every shape and size, hundreds of them. Like a rock concert they filled the space with their noses in the air, the scent of picnics and old garbage cans. When they lowered their noses to see the bright orange cargo contained and the huge letters spelling out "Coleman", they let out a collective sigh of sublime serendipity and fainted. Hundreds of bears laying prostrate from emotional exhaustion and ecstasy.
Of course the guy was arrested for inflicting an unbearable atrocity on park animals by damaging their natural inclinations. The bears to this day have not recovered well. They beg snacks at a distance, some so embarrassed have resorted to carrying bag lunches (nuts and berries of course) when around camp grounds.
The good thing is that campers can now have Coleman coolers without bear intervention. And please note a bear in the city is illiterate, all bets are off.
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