Chaos Classified

Deep within the bowels of the Internet, past decrepit Geo-Cities  archives, below Live Journal post regarding unwavering love for Hansen, tucked in a forgotten corner of a low-baud rate server, there exists a lively classifieds bulletin board.

However, this is no ordinary "missed connections", "soiled futon " market place. This is market for wonders, for forbidden objects found where brave men fear to tread. It is a market for outdated technological marvels, arcane works, eldritch objects from a beyond the borders of the ordinary.

The denizens of these boards engage in a brisk trade, seeking to acquire or unload nameless horrors from the Deep, insane robots from a nightmarish future, hire teams of blind ninja assassins, or just adopt a couple of genetic monstrosities.

Below is just a taste of the terrifying and degenerate ads that populate these boards.


For sale: partially operational , fog only, needs new ,bearer bonds or gold only.

 


Wanted:personal assistant. Salary negotiable, good health plan; small arms, , skill needed.

 


Wanted: / firm for construction of private facility in . experience preferred, sign

 


Wanted: team of for hit. on alteration preferred


Check here, or the Moorsgate Media Twitter feed for more Chaos Classifieds.


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