I wish I knew about my past. No, I mean past beyond me. I sort of never asked grandpa and grandma directly and went blank every time they reminisced about it. Now they are gone and I am fishing for stories. I think about my grandkids and want to sit them down tell them about what I remember so that their eyes will roll back in their heads like mine did. Hey, there is a rusty cobwebbed drawer in everyone's mind that stores ancient memories, you got to put something in it or kids will spiral off into weird space forever. I found this ad for DNA testing but I want to check it out, learn how they do it..............
It's a huge building, nondescript lobby, 20 elevators all dumping into the same upper atrium. The offices are stately, looks like busy work but the papers strewn about are blank. I know cause I looked. In the darkened corner of the atrium there is a maintenance closet, I heard keyboard sounds, laughter, belching and other animal communications. I listened in. "Hey dude, here's another ancestor worshiper request. Let's give this one a pacemaker." "Yeah man, this is the best job in the world, spin the percents!" "Let's see, 20% English, 10% Pakistani, 30% Russian, 5% Chinese, 34% German and 1% Black African." Man, no matter what, he's a N............." "Hey man, you know you can't use the "N" word while in the office." "I know, but it's not like this is being recorded for quality assurance purposes." "What you do with the swab samples?" "I toss them down elevator shaft #3, it empties in the sewer." "LOL, you finish that new ad flier?" Says, 'Do you feel lonely, disconnected, a man without a past is a man without a reason. Get your free DNA kit today. Postage and processing only $99. We will hook you up!' More laughter.
I ran out of there, my eyes fully opened. As I got in my car and a sign caught my attention, 'Independent DNA Results Interpretation Consultants, Inc.' The door was locked but there was a pamphlet holder on it. I unfolded the flier that read, 'Please, go talk to your granny and deposit $0.10 in the slot.'
I think I found a convergence in the force, the highest count of meta-clorians in a life form, but that's another metaphor, until next time..............
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