Unless you just woke up from a coma and found the hospital you're in abandoned and the world gone to hell without sending you a memo, you better have read the first two parts of this guide before reading any further. You are way behind the curve and at best are 'walker bait'. In fact, stand by the door and open it when I tell you. Don't worry about me moving to the far side of the room exit with all my stuff....
For those of you who are up to speed, I congratulate you on surviving this far. However, the only pat on the back you'll get around here is from several dozen infected wanting to give their regards.
So now you and your fellow survivors have slightly rested while the main wave of the infected are busy chasing down the remaining crowds of people driven before them. You wish those folks luck, but thank them for their distraction. While the carnage continues off in the distance the question, 'what do I do now?' rears its ugly head once more. Simple, you have to change your location... now.
Rule #13 - Get out of the City
'Lucky #13' applies to any area with large numbers of people so towns, hamlets and villages also apply. Don't forget, walkers go where 'the food' is and you are the food. The bad news about cities is by now they are snarled with traffic accidents, burning buildings and vehicles. Just being on the street with all of that is dangerous as having to deal with panicked herds of people and effin' zombies! Yet, being the rule #5 ready survivor you've proved to be so far, you can already see the 'bright side' of the situation.
Use the mayhem as cover
As you move to un-ass the city, stealth is going to be your friend. Burning cars and buildings are dangerous, but they're useful. The smoke can cover your scent and the flames are good when you shove an infected mofo' into them. Also, burning debris make mighty fine improvised weapons if any walkers hung back from chasing the smorgasbord.
Use the landscape as shield or weapon
Don't be shy about prying open a car's gas cap, sticking a piece of cloth in the gas tank and lighting that bitch on fire should a mob of walkers catch wind of you and your group. The explosion will make them key in on the sound and they'll focus on that while you all slip away. Also, don't feel bad about setting the building you had to evacuate on fire to cover your escape. The 'owners' have already been eaten.
Keep $#%^&! quiet
No matter what kind of zombie you are unfortunately faced with (infected '28 Days Later', brain eaters 'Return of the Dead', or straight undead 'Night of the Living Dead'/'Dawn of the Dead'/'The Walking Dead') the primary thing they have in common is they can hear annoyingly well. Use those flipped and abandoned vehicles to stay out of their sight. Most importantly keep quiet! If others are with you, use hand signals to keep them moving or hold in place. Rule #9 comes in particularly handy at this time so you aren't that asshole who either trips or knocks something over making enough noise to alert every damn walker in the tri-state area. In the unfortunate (and highly probable) event that happens, there's no reason to start screaming and knocking stuff over when you have to bail.
Use distractions
The other thing all zombies have in common is they're not too bright. Since the infected are attracted to sound, there's no reason why you can't set up a 'deadfall' (an improvised trap whereby something heavy falls) or toss some debris (toss it far please) away from your position to draw those suckers away. That's a rule #5 move that when used properly can give you that much needed head start.
Above all remember to; move fast when needed, hide when needed and keep headed out of the city.
Rule #14 - Find a secure location
In this case, you don't want the 'Marine' version of secure just yet. It is highly probable you and your fellow survivors are still on foot so with ducking and taking down small groups of infected here and there, the group will have cleared the city but not by much. Most likely you're running out of daylight and the last thing any of you want is to be out on the street at night. Priority one is to find a secure location.
Unfortunately, that's easier said than done. Mainly, because any place that's particularly good will be; infested with walkers, already occupied by other survivors who ain't hearing your pitiful pleas to let you in ('cause they've got their rules cheatsheet too) or it's locked up tight. Here's some tips on looking for a secure location:
Houses, Farms and certain Buildings are not secure
Houses suck as hideouts. You've got too many entry points for walkers to barge in. Windows have to be boarded up (ever notice in zombie movies how many suburban homes are nicely stocked with boards for blocking windows?) and doors have to be barricaded. Most houses can't keep $#@@damn burglars out. How can anyone expect a house to hold out a crush of zombies?
Farms also suck as hideouts. First farmhouses have all the issues houses have (except they may actually have all those damn boards you'll need.) Plus the fact there will be lots of wide open space around them for walkers to mill about smartly then get a running start when they come at you. Don't even think about using the Barn either. Often there'll be livestock in there and you don't want to be the other, 'other white meat' available. Plus barns have hay and other flammables in there. All it takes is one careless jackass (four or two-legged variety) and the place becomes an inferno.
Also, avoid storefronts as they will have lots of lovely plate glass windows the infected can come flying through at you. Lastly, bypass apartment buildings. They, just like hospitals will initially be a nasty mix of walkers and hostile survivors duking it out in there. Not to mention you'll need a large group to secure all the access points which violates rule #10.
Well, you've all had a rough day so let's just say in this instance fortune has smiled upon you and let you find a small warehouse that one of your group used to work. For whatever reason, she knows how to get you all in by going via the roof and now for the time being, you have someplace zombie free to hole up.
Rule #15 - Take stock of available resources
So after your group has waylayed the pitiful group of walkers in the warehouse, you've secured all the access points. Unless the zombies fire up a semi, tank or somebody does something stupid, they ain't getting in. Though you've bought yourself some breathing room, you are by no means in the clear. You and your group have a ton of work to do. Now's the time to take stock of your available resources. That means everything that's on hand including the members of your group.
Recon your location
'Recon' isn't just some cool word they use in movies and videogames. It's gathering information necessary to complete your mission ('mission' = not getting your ass eaten by a damn zombie.) You're going to have to hole up in the warehouse for a while 'till things die down so you need to get eyes on it's layout. You'll be looking for additional access/exit points, places where you can mount a strong defense then escape and what the landscape is like around it.
Find out who your fellow survivors are
This is the time you need to figure out who's who among your fellow survivors. Everybody is no doubt freaked out and giving them a chance to pull themselves together will cut down on the chances someone will flip out and bring the infected down upon you all. Get everyone's name, what kind of work they did, find out if they have family and then give them something to do.
Divide the Labor
For the time being, the warehouse is the only thing standing between the group and the tens if not hundreds of thousands of walkers out there. You must get your fellow group members no matter how traumatized up and working to keep them focused on the problem (of not getting eaten.) Everybody works and everybody fights has to be the mantra to keep cohesion. Remember all it takes is for one person to do something stupid and all that running and dying crap starts all over. Giving people tasks will help take their minds off of worries concerning family, friends and the lives they will never get back. If anyone gets bent about working, just remind them of all those walkers out there that would love to make their acquaintance. If they look like they're going to be a real problem, keep rules #2 and 7 in mind when you bust that mofo in the skull.
Take inventory
This is also the time to take stock of what resources you have on hand. Clean water is your primary concern. Without it you're all going to die within 2-3 days after all the running, fighting and stress you've been under. Find a good water source... now. Food is the next resource needed though you can roll without it much longer than water. Long as you have water available, you can survive without food for weeks. However, if you want to be able to haul ass when one of your fellow survivors hallucinating from starvation opens the rolling bay doors because he thought all those walkers outside were 'chickens', you'll need a decent supply of food. Seeing as how you all were lucky enough to break into a warehouse that had several hundred crates of military 'MRE's' (meals ready to eat), the food thing is covered big time.
Make a 'to go pack'
Next, you'll need to start building everyone 'kits' so when crap rolls downhill (which it eventually will) they can have what they need to last several days until another secure location can be found. Backpacks, courier bags, even those big-ass shoulder bags women carry are good items for carrying supplies and needed items. Just make sure your kit doesn't violate rule #11. Another thing to remember about packs and bags is their number one drawback... they make great handles.
You might have an extra step on that pesky infected on your tail, but they have a bad habit of reaching out and grabbing anything they can get hold of. Your carry pack is a perfect 'grabbable'. If your pack or bag has quick release straps, get familiar with unhooking them quickly with either hand. If they don't, then cut the straps and tie them back together with a 'half-hitch' knot (looks like half the knot used to tie shoelaces.) Make sure the pull line hangs down and the loop is up so all you have to do is yank the line to disengage the bag. Better to let the infected have it than get dragged down! Just like your primary weapon, your pack should be with you at all times.
Rule #16 - Scavenging
It's certain your current location will not have everything you need. So that means you'll eventually have to go out and do some 'shopping'. Initially, you'll have to send out or go on recon runs just to see what resources are available. It will be a bad idea to go into the city for scavenging runs because there will be craploads of zombies and potentially hostile survivors who've carved out a territory. However, there will still be good pickings in the outlying areas and roads. Send out only those who can move quickly, quietly, can keep their heads and throw down if things go into the toilet. Here are some tips for scavenging under hostile conditions:
Keep the team small
For recon, a two person team is the prime number. One to scout, the other to cover their backs. For scavenging 3-4 persons max. Better to send out small groups that can carry small loads quickly and quietly.
Stick to the essentials
Water, food, medicine, weapons, clothing and reliable transportation are the only things you should be concerned with. Stuff like small amounts of jewelry can be taken on the fly as they may be useful in the long run when dealing with other groups of survivors but are not necessary items in the short term. Make note of their location and come back if things settle down.
Cover your tracks
In 'I am Legend' the lead character sprayed vinegar around to foil the zombies ability to track him by smell. You may need to carry a spray bottle of vinegar, cleaning fluid or 'eau du walker' with you to keep them from following your scent. Don't forget rule #5 when it comes to hygene on recon/scavenging runs.
Do your 'business' before you go out
It's not only your blood that will attract the attention of the infected. Bodily functions #1 and 2 are just as good if not better to help zombies home in on your ass. Do what you have to do before you set out and clean up well so you won't leave a 'scent corridor'.
Keep $#%^&! quiet and don't do anything stupid
This applies at all times while you're outside your secure location. A perfectly good run can go straight to poop if you or one of the team makes any noise. Also, you already got your naughty bits hanging over a bear trap as is. Taking unnecessary risks is just stupid and will endanger not only you, but your fellow survivors. They would be well within rule #7 if they left you to get eaten while they made their escape because of your damn stupidity. Just do the work and get out. If something catches your eye, make note of it and come back another time. Every second you spend out there BS'ing around is one more second an infected may have to jump up your ass.
Rule #17 - Keep your focus
Just because the walking dead either haven't figured out where you are yet or have yet to find a way into your location doesn't mean the problem is solved. You are just like those folks whose city or castle is under siege. You may have that much needed breathing room to get rested and build up fat reserves, but doodoo can change at any moment.
Don't get comfy
It happens in every ZA movie or TV show, people get a little breathing room and then they start getting stupid. Modern industrial nation humans are primarily lazy bastards and any opportunity to get back into 'couch potato' mode will be seized upon. You can't allow that to happen. You need to keep people occupied at all times or minds will start wandering and that's when dumb stuff starts happening.
Make weapons
Keeping your existing weapons clean, sharp and in good repair are great ways to keep the mind occupied. Also take the time to increase your arsenal with whatever's available. It literally will not kill you to make extra weapons and leave them around where anyone can grab hold of one when needed. You and the other survivors should have your primary weapons on hand at all times. But in case you run out of ammo or your gore slick weapon slides out of your hands, it will be sorely convenient to reach out and grab a spare. This is also the time for anyone with skills for or can adapt to making weapons (ammo, etc.) to get crackin'.
Be prepared to keep order
The stress of survival will take it's toll on everyone. You and your fellow survivors will suffer survivor's guilt at not having gone to find loved ones or just for having survived when so many others around them fell. These feelings will cause dissention which will lead to conflict which will lead to somebody doing something stupid. Allow people to vent somewhat because they'll need to. But when things get too noisy and or start getting out of hand, feel free to lend some minor pain to the situation with a swat across the back of the thighs with a board or bat. Don't pull a pistol or rifle unless you're going to kill them. That threat only will work long as they know you'll pull the trigger. So if you have to use that option, remember rule #2.
Rule #18 - Establish a pecking order
Sorry kids but the days of 'Democracy' are over. There has to be one leader, one second and persons in charge of certain tasks. Humans crave order and want rules and boundaries no matter what any proponent of anarchy spouts. We are pack animals and our societies at their core are similar to monkey troops and wolf packs. Get over it and make do.
Everybody can't be the 'Alpha'
Quiet as it's kept, the leader of the group need not be the biggest or strongest. They have to be the most capable when it comes down to making critical and mundane decisions. Everybody will not be capable of operating like that. Also, the leader of the group must inspire confidence in their fellow survivors. Not with threats or platitudes of 'everything will be just fine', but with deeds that show cohesion of the group will keep everyone alive. Here is where any potential leader must understand how rule #1 applies.
The leader must get it into everyone's head that 'what was, is no longer'. 'Now is the new reality.' Ultimately things will change, but not for a while. Until then, the group survives long as it functions with everyone's full participation. Anyone who thinks they can make it on their own can take their chances outside with the infected. That rule has to be enforced without reflection or mercy.
Rule #19 - Keep your $#!% together
Despite the conditions (let's face it, you didn't think you'd be spending time with folks you don't know in a warehouse surrounded by effin' zombies), you need to maintain your health both mental and physical. Drinking water and eating as best you can in addition to keeping yourself clean as possible will go a long way towards being 'ret' ta' go' when the time comes to bail. Things you must do are:
Wash your ass
In 'The Book of Eli' though there weren't any zombies (I'm sure crazy cannibal mutated humans count), but conditions were similar to what you're currently facing. His solution to keeping clean was to use alcohol hand cleaners. Hand sanitizers and hand sanitizing wipes are great resources to help keep your skin clean (and they burn like a mofo! See rule #13.) Just make sure whatever you use doesn't violate rule #5. If you have a source of clean water, save that stuff for your pack (see rule #15.) Keeping yourself clean lessens the chances of the infected sniffing you out and keeps you from getting turned into walker bait because of a debilitating skin condition (remember if you're sickly your fellow survivors will implement rule #7 on your ass!)
Maintain a clean living area
You're going to have a hard enough time keeping those hordes of rotten bastards from finding you as is. Making it easy for them because you are a bunch of nasty #$%@'s is suicidal. if you must cook, do so low to the ground as possible. Vary the times and days that you do to make it harder for the zombies to tune in on your home cooking. Only have fire in well ventilated area with high ceilings. Keep fires small in case you have to put them out quickly. Don't make big 'White Man' Fires as the Native Americans call them where they can be seen for miles and smelled for tens of miles. They also use up valuable fuel which you'll have to risk members of the scavenger parties to get more.
Make sure that when you or other survivors do the business, it's in a place that's far enough from the common areas (but secure) and will not accumulate in a manner which will attract walkers or promote the spread of disease. It also must be imperative to maintain the means for washing up afterwards and keeping the implements of washing up clean as well.
Keep fit and practice with multiple weapons
Just because you've got breathing room doesn't mean you can chill. That you made it to this temporary safe haven by running and gunning, just meant you got damn lucky. Now you need to make the weapons you use a part of you and get your bod primed to keep your ass alive. If there is a considerable surplus of ammo and you can do so without attracting undo attention, practice with all available projectile weapons and become familiar with them. If someone goes down, you may be close enough to grab their weapon and put it to further use (not like they're going to need it anymore.) Best to be familiar with it or you'll be laying next to her on the 'first come, first serve buffet.
Where your hand weapons are concerned, practice with them until they feel natural in your hands and learn to fight in multiple directions (because walkers ain't gonna' line up nice and neat for you to mow them down.) This will be an everyday thing so when you have to throw down ('cause you will), it will come to you naturally and much more efficiently than just out of fear. Just remember rule #12 when taking out infected mofo's starts getting good to you.
Take time to bond
Nobody's saying y'all gotta' have 'Kumbaya' moments, but when folks are on perimeter watch, cooking detail, scavenger runs, weapon cleaning detail, weapons practice or doing physical training, use these times to get to know your fellow survivors. Unlike in wartime when soldiers didn't want to know the 'FNG's' 'cause they were gonna' get smoked before too long, bonding with your fellow survivors is necessary to keep group cohesion.
Share the rules and lay down plans
Nothing will sow confusion and dissention more than witholding information. If you are leader or you've found something the leader should know, a decision must be made on whether to tell the group or not. Some things may be best left unsaid, but the truth will always out. When details come out that dim the big picture, you're going to have to suck it up because the alternatives are; kill yourself, your fellow survivors kill you or be the guest of honor at the next walker banquet. If you want to live, you'll just have to roll with the bad news and keep on pushing. If not, there's always rule #7.
Rule #20 - Preparing for the long haul
Eventually, you'll need to move to a better stocked and more defendable location. With luck, you've acquired enough reliable transportation, food, water, medical supplies, weapons, ammo and maybe a few more reliable survivors to replenish the ranks for those lost. You've got the leadership thing down for the moment and laid out the plans for the near future. So you should just pack everybody up and go now right? Not necessarily. Long as your location has not been compromised and you have adequate stores, you may want to standby on your potential evac. There are two potential things coming which will give you an advantage over the hordes of dead and or infected out there. Plus, there are things you'll have to work out amongst your fellow survivors and any new groups you encounter.
Starvation
Enough time passes, the infected will have eaten everything they could get their hands on and they'll just starve to death. That was the ultimate solution in the film '28 Days Later'.
Decay
Walkers and Brain Eaters are literally animated dead. Seeing how most of these outbreaks take place during the spring and summer, just be patient and let nature do its thing. Between the heat and insect larvae, eventually zombie bodies will rot to the point of non-functioning.
Winter is coming
Your ultimate salvation will come from the cold weather. Animate or not, infected or not the cold will cause zombie bodies to freeze. Any zombies that didn't starve or rot away by this time will be too cold to move and at this point will make for fine kindling. Just before the snows start up will be the best time for zombie-free scavenging and relocation.
Beware your fellow survivors
Remember from now 'til some time in the far off future, rules #1 and 2 are in effect. You and your group managed to beat the odds and survive, there will certainly be others. Humans were tribal as hell before the world turned to poop. Now they're on the accelerated program. Bottom line is; remember the rules. Whereby some groups you run into will be all too happy to meet, greet and trade if not even link up. Others will be effin' savages you'll have to kill down to the last mofo. So just like in rule #1 you'll have to accept it or not.
No 'planting of seed'
Long as there is the threat of large numbers of walkers or even one damn infected running around, boys and girls either 'wrap it up', tie it off, plug it up or keep it to yourself. Pregnancy for a woman under these conditions is a death sentence. Morning sickness will force her to stay off of recon runs and perimeter watch because of the noise made from retching and the smell of vomit will attract walkers big time. She will need extra food rations which the group may not have to spare and when she is fully gravid, those wonderful feats of 'foot beating', leaping, jumping and climbing won't be possible. Forget the fact that babies have a nasty habit of wanting to be born at the most inopportune times. Lastly, somebody will end up forgetting the rules and get themselves killed trying to defend her in the event of an overrun of infected.
It is inevitable that available men and women will hook up (part of that whole 'bonding thing' from rule #19.) Just go out of each other's way to prevent a life threatening pregnancy. Rebuilding the species will be a 'top priority' once the zombie threat has ended. Just keep in 'practice' until then.
You're on your way to survival
Well, you and your fellow survivors have lasted for many weeks now. You've kept sharp, you have a good leader, you have your plans laid out and you've even got a new and better location scoped out for the move this winter. Now is the time to keep focused and don't do anything stupid. You've noticed a decline in the numbers of infected, but those bastards are still out there. You've made some good connections with some other groups of survivors but had to put down some mad dogs that wanted to effup everything by stealing your supplies, raping the women and what-not. You salvaged their gear and busted them in the melons for good measure. Damnedest thing about those jokers that escaped running right into that patch of walkers you had penned up in that underground parking garage. Sometimes you gotta' love rule #7....
© 2012 H. Wolfgang Porter. All Rights Reserved. Images used are owned by their prospective copyright holders.
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