Hey, guys.  

I'm new to the Forge, and I heard that this is the best place to get critiques of your work, so If you please, I'd like a good critique of a short story that I recently finished.  It's titled simply "Horizon".  In the vein of Octavia Butler, it tells the story of Neil, one of many humans who are birthed separately from humans of Earth by the Rel, a starfaring race that has integrated cybernetics so seamlessly with themselves, it is hard to tell where the machine ends and the biological being begins.  I would like a good, thorough review by anyone who is willing.  Be as brutal as you like.  I welcome comments, compliments, and constructive criticism.  I'll leave the link to the document in Google Drive down below.  Thanks for any feedback you can give, and I will try to be as forthcoming in any future critiques I give as well.  


-Brandon

"Horizon" by Brandon Hill

P.S. Let me know if the link doesn't work.