"Check your egos at the door" Need to hone and Polish your craft? Willing to help other do the same? Then put on your apron and enter The FORGE! Here is where you can post pieces of your work and get HONEST and sometimes HARSH criticism

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THE FORGE

Remember we're all here to help us make progress on our dreams.
Sometimes to do that we need to bang and hack at our talent until we get it right.
A LOT of times we need others to help.
So in the spirit of HELPING, both give and receive criticism in order for all of us to get better!

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The Sun Queen's New Hairstyle (~3,500 words)

Not at all related to the last story I posted here. The setting is technically fantasy, but the fictional kingdoms all have historical inspirations which I hope are self-evident to readers. In a sense you can consider it a retelling of the old "Emperor's New Clothes" story, but with a twist and a climax.The Sun Queen's New HairstyleHolding a bronze mirror to her face, Neferkah plowed through her hair with an ivory comb. Over the flooding season that had passed since she last shaved her scalp…

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Cultural Contamination (~2,000 words)

It feels like forever since I last posted on the Black Science Fiction Society website, let alone in this group. I finished this short over the course of two days but haven't received much in the way of feedback yet when posting in critique forums. I hope this appeals to at least one reader out there.Cultural ContaminationA breeze cold as winter licked over Zaryasien after flying into the Elven Court of Alfanyr. It was far from the only chilly sensation the young elf had suffered this morning.…

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"Double-Cross My Heart" - Critique Request

Hi, everybody.  This is the 3rd installment of a series of books that tell the stories of vampires and humans in a war between two particular vampire clans: one who lives in peaceful symbiosis with humans, the other seeking to dominate humanity.  "Double-Cross My Heart" is a book that I'm going to be taking the biggest risk in writing, as the main character appears to be a 10 year-old girl, but is really Elisa, the nearly 200 year-old adopted daughter of Talante, the father and leader of my…

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Showing, trying not to tell.

I've been working on the whole "show, don't tell" rule about describing my scenes. The crammed damp room was thick with anticipation though no one dared make a sound. An empty stomach groaned plaintively echoing against the hard concrete walls, stirring the group a little, but even that faded quickly returning to agitated silence.BecameThe dark damp room stood at the end of a dingy hallway with a worn carpet and walls that had yellowed with age and neglect. The door squeaked slightly as it…

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