I've been working on the whole "show, don't tell" rule about describing my scenes. 

The crammed damp room was thick with anticipation though no one dared make a sound. An empty stomach groaned plaintively echoing against the hard concrete walls, stirring the group a little, but even that faded quickly returning to agitated silence.

Became

The dark damp room stood at the end of a dingy hallway with a worn carpet and walls that had yellowed with age and neglect. The door squeaked slightly as it opened. There were bodies, human bodies crammed into every corner. No one spoke. No grim faces illuminated by the dull blue glow of mobile devices. A few people shuffled in their seats, the scraping sound of the metal legs against the bare concrete floor harsh against the silence. Those who stood around shifted nervously from one foot to another and somewhere an empty stomach groaned plaintively, stirring the group a little. Even that quickly faded back to agitated silence.

What do you think?