"Double-Cross My Heart" - Critique Request

Hi, everybody.  

This is the 3rd installment of a series of books that tell the stories of vampires and humans in a war between two particular vampire clans: one who lives in peaceful symbiosis with humans, the other seeking to dominate humanity.  

"Double-Cross My Heart" is a book that I'm going to be taking the biggest risk in writing, as the main character appears to be a 10 year-old girl, but is really Elisa, the nearly 200 year-old adopted daughter of Talante, the father and leader of my "good" vampire clan.  In this story, she is sent on a mission to a wandering clan of vampires who chose to take no sides in this war, to protect a dhampir baby, a valuable commodity to both clans.  During her mission, she falls in love with Derek, the leader of this rogue clan, turned also at a tender age, but in the course of time, comes to discover a horrifying secret of her forgotten past, which may destroy the trust she holds in someone whom she loves more than her own immortal life.  

The story is a risk because (AND THIS IS A BRIEF CAVEAT) it depicts a rather mature relationship between Elisa and Derek, who, at first blush, appear underage, despite their true ages (Elisa appears to be 10, but is actually 173; Derek appears to be 14, but is actually 34)but there is no sexual content.  Intimacy is left to kissing, and feeding from each other, which is an intimate act in itself.  The first three chapters, which I am posting here on this blog contain none of this, so it is perfectly SFW.  

The first 3 chapters have been attached to this posting.  I'm looking for appraisal of my style, content, characterization, word usage, nuance, maturity of writing, etc.  Do not worry about offending me.  Be as brutal as you like.  I welcome criticism.  There is no obligation to read all of the chapters, BTW.  Read as far as you like, and please give me a good critique.

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