BLOGS

 Sometimes, what happens in the dark, doesn't stay in the dark.  Here's a small piece of what's been floating in my head today.  The start of something or the end of it.  Depends on your point of view.   - CAG

                When I first woke up, I could hear its panicked breath.  It was the kind of breathing you do when you’re having a bad dream and the monster almost gets you but you wake up just in time.  I woke up the same way.  No light.  None. I scuttled backward until my back hit the wall then stood up, ready to fight.  But the fight never came.  I waited in the silence; sometimes holding my breath so I could listen.  I knew it was doing the same.  It spoke to me in some language I didn't understand in a voice I didn't recognize.  The voice was garbled.  I couldn't tell if it was a man or a woman or even human.  Then something clicked, I don’t know what but suddenly, I understood it.

          “Who are you?” he demanded.  It was a man.  Immediately, I wanted to spit out an angry reply.  Old memories flooded back of the last time I was trapped in a dark room with a man.  What he had done to me.  How he had hurt me. Over and over again.  I nearly died.  I was never the same since.  That was never going to happen again.  Never.  

                I would have answered but then I realized that I didn't know who I was.  How was that possible?  I couldn't think of my name.  My knees almost buckled at the onslaught of that realization.  I shook my head and pulled myself back into the moment.  I could figure all that other shit out later.  I answered his question with one of my own.  “Who are you?”  The silence was broken by rapid breathing.  His and mine.  

             “I don’t know.” The reply was a mixture of fear and acceptance.  I kept my back to the wall, slowly and quietly, I took a step to my right, walking the perimeter; softly tapping the wall.  Searching for a breach, for a way out.  A door.  A weapon.  I wanted a weapon.  I didn't need one.  I could fight to the death if I had to.  But a weapon would give me a nice advantage.  

             I didn't know who I was trapped in here with or who would be waiting for me once I found my way out of here.  I was going to get out of here.  My gun was gone and I left my knife embedded in the chest of the man who attacked me in the alley.  I could feel him behind me; in the shadows.  He was as blind as I was and just as wary of me as I was of him.  Good.

              Sometimes, I need to bounce story ideas off of friends to see if it works from a technical stand point or if it reads realistically enough to be what I intended it to be.  There are times when I just want to share what’s going on in my head.  It may be the start of a story, a scene or two from a story that I’m already working on or just a flash of something going on in my writer’s realm.  This morning I was “hit” with this little piece of inspiration and shared it with my good friend Ed Maisonet, who is also my LifeDefense Instructor.  He replied with this: 

"Be what you need to be in the moment.  Head not the tail.  Predator not prey." 

              How true those words are. They brought to mind what Ed teaches in every class and that is, every person should know how to protect themselves, especially women.  Some of the female characters I write about start off their literary lives as prey.  They don’t always remain that way though.  More often than not, they are compelled by circumstances and survival instincts to fight when running to safety is no longer an option and giving up is definitely not the plan.  They learn what they have to learn and do what is necessary to become the predator and not the prey.  This holds true in the real world as well.

             Please understand, I am not man-bashing, the same idea of being prepared to defend yourself applies to men and children as well.  Trouble arrives uninvited in many forms and can be delivered to anyone at any time.  All one has to do is pick up a newspaper or watch the news to see just how many men, women and children fall prey to violent acts all the time, day or night, while they’re at work or school and even when they’re home.  Some of us have already been a victim of violence.  Women and children are commonly thought of as “weaker” targets.  I wonder how many would be alive today if they had the advantage of knowing how to defend themselves from the bad guys that prowl our streets and break into our homes.
             I've been taking Ed’s class for some time now and while I am in no way near to being like the bad-ass protagonists of many of my stories (I’m a work in progress), I no longer feel as though I would be helpless in a dire situation.  If I could offer advice specifically to women today, it would be:

• Learn how to protect yourself.  There are ways to fend off your attacker.  Find a good self-defense class and train.  Personally, I recommend Krav Maga but find what works for you.  With commitment, you’ll also gain the side benefit of getting into shape and feeling empowered mentally, spiritually as well as physically.  I know I have.
• Be cautious of who you let into your life.  Take your time to learn more about the person you’re going on a date with, regardless of how good they look.  That adage about wolves in sheep’s clothing holds truth.
• Think smart, act smarter and learn how to fight so you can live to fight another day. 
                

Just a few things I’ve learned from a 250 pound man, that makes sense.  As Ed would say “See you on the mat.”

-To learn more about Ed Maisonet, Author of  "Things I Teach to Every Woman I Know" Written by a 250lb Man", you can follow Ed's blog at  http://twocentsfroma250lbman.blogspot.com/  or learn more about his LifeDefense Krav Maga classes by visiting his website at www.lifedefenseinc.com